haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize