Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
