This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
