they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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