I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
