Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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