So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
