this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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