everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
