he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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