Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
nutella sex= disaster
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
