arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
