I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
