well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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