Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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