Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
