3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
