I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
