I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
