life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
