in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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