arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
