that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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