I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
