The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize