Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
