I cannot find my penis.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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