You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
