i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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