i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
