Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
