woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize