Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
