carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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