you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
