Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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