i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize