he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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