I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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