Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
