he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize