dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
