He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
