I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize