i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
