what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
