Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
