Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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