And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
