Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What drink are we having for lunch?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
