Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Boobs speak an international language.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
