Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
