i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
