You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I intend to get homeless drunk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
