I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
