Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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