Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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