i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
