The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You made out with two different species that night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
