I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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